Still in there…

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…the need to see in the dark is tantamount to my wellbeing; the level with which I feel okay with who I am is telling.  I feel like the darkness compels me to see my inner self; the dark parts, my buried secrets of stories I may never tell; knowing the innocence is still there…in the windows of my soul; my eyes.

Bitterness is easy to hold onto, and not even realize it…Once upon a time, everything started out innocently, forcing vulnerability; trust in love and opening your soul…to another. What will happen next as I reveal myself?

I am not always a leopard, so strong and aware, I am sometimes a flustered, homesick kitten standing in its shadow…

 

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Soul family

Thank you for your presence in my life, for who you are illuminates who I am…You are my reflections. Life has allowed me to visit unique places where I have looked in the eyes of new, yet familiar faces. I’ve made authentic connections that have strengthened my journey as a woman, mother, writer and goddess and one day, midwife. In each of you, I see me…you have been my tribe on the road to healing in more ways than one. And for me this is huge for I have always been somewhat of a private person. Little by little, I felt more inclined to peel back the masks that have covered my eyes and face, kept hidden a place that some have touched but could not fathom; my spirit. Allowing her to shine is rightfully mine again, but then it always has been. Eternal blissings to my soul family, for helping me to remember…Ase’O!

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Open to the Flow…

Why believe in Love when it can be so fleeting?

Why risk the moment where next to mine, your heart is not beating?

Why not? When I know that Love is an outlet for the most intense of emotions to flow. 

Nothing can replace a hug or a kiss, especially with whom you love…not at ALL is it easy to dismiss. Love deserves validity, a chance to grow into something so beautiful. Love fills me where I once felt doubt, where I once felt just fine without. That is not my path currently, for Love is beckoning me; challenging me to face my fears, to let go of the pain of yesterday’s years. 

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Long Live Frida!

Frida Kahlo

Frida Kahlo painted her world, in joy and in pain she painted again and again.
Her infinite beauty shrouded in mystery, the way she lived vicariously. She opened her heart up to love, she opened her mind to possibilities, and she opened her eyes to see…Although her body would be broken her soul would not follow, for she painted over the spaces that often felt hollow. In her eyes existed a world where she could be free, from anything that kept her from what she truly wished to be. She inspired so many with her sheer will to live, and to this world, her talent she did give.

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Memories of Maya Angelou

When I learned that Maya Angelou had passed away, I had to take a moment…I was in disbelief, she was not supposed to leave this Earth yet! I know that everyone has their time, but Queen Maya seemed like one of those souls who would shine forever. She is indeed still shining, but not in the physical anymore…her soul will always live though. I spent some time with a close friend over the weekend, watching a tribute done for Maya and I learned much more about her that evening than I ever knew…and then more love for her just filled my heart. Her voice was like a warm pillow that I could lay my head on, her words so poignant and elegant. She knew just what to say, and I enjoyed reading her poems as a teenager and then later in my life. I had many favorite poems written by Maya, but “Phenomenal Woman” hung on my bedroom wall throughout my life and as I take a quick glance to my right, I see it, still hanging on my wall.

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I have three women who I have dubbed “The Greats” in my life, three very verbal, poetic, strong and beautiful women who would be my mirrors in my writing journey; Maya Angelou, Nikki Giovanni and Sonia Sanchez. I remember reading their poems as a young girl and being so enriched by their words. Their poems were their thoughts, their stories, their inner most being as they attempted to navigate through this life and I felt such a connection to their words. Writing poems was the same for me and it still is a deep part of the way I express myself. Maya Angelou’s poems were like refreshing waters, Nikki Giovanni’s poems were like music to my soul and Sonia Sanchez’s poems spoke to me about life.

Nikki Giovanni

Sonia Sanchez

How beautiful it is to write and share a piece of your soul with the world in poems, it is one of the most intimate acts of love one could truly express. I’m so thankful for the legacy that Maya Angelou has left to this world, she touched many with her grace and humbleness. She loved so many and hated no one. She didn’t tolerate ignorance on any level, and she had such a classy way about her. I didn’t know that she sang in her earlier years, and danced as well. I didn’t know that she sank into a depression when Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated but she did. Those are some of the things about her life that I didn’t even know. I knew she was “America’s poet,” but she was even more. She was a survivor, from a very young age and she was a compassionate, empathetic person who embodied forgiveness on a level that spoke volumes to her character. She leaves us now with her words, her many books that she has written and her sweet smiling face as memories to remember her by. I will always have a deep respect and admiration for Maya Angelou and I will embrace her for years to come; She will never be forgotten.

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Realistic daydreams

It is time now to relinquish all doubt, to really allow myself to flourish and stop doing without. I am not a robot but a human being, with desires, wishes and dreams to live in bliss, I open my heart to all that I have missed. Living the life of my dreams is no longer a thought floating in the wind, it is time for new paths to truly begin…I agree that this is destined for me; no more sleepless nights, ego and spirit fights…just peace within and warm, embracing light.

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